"Good Morning,
Thanks again for having us over yesterday. It was truly our pleasure to meet you and the whole family. Your sports question is a complex one to answer and I dare say that I could probably get closer to accurately answering it in an essay that would span thousands of words, but I will try to do my best to answer it somewhat right now in this email. Soo...
I have come to a realization that sports are the vehicle and arena that I use to continually take a break from the harsh realities that life can bring and the issues that are very demanding on my body and soul that I involve myself with often. From my work life as a teacher interacting with students and being a part of constant primary and secondary trauma to my rough family history to every beyond frustrating and sad issue that the news can discuss (healthcare, education, politics, everything can seem irreparably broken and corrupted), if I spent every waking moment of my life turning my immense passion toward these issues, I would be an absolute and complete wreck. And at times, I find myself in that state when my mind and passion focus on the many injustices in this world that need immediate love, power, justice...and often logic.
But sports are different. There is a 24/7 news cycle with sports as well, but unlike constant stories about murder, corruption, brokenness, and fear, in sports the stories are often inspirational in nature. And when they are negative, or tough to read, it's because of a team losing by a certain amount of points, or a player getting hurt, or the way a team lost. This is a layer removed from the depth of trauma that negative stories carry in mainstream media.
In addition, knowledge and depth of sports is truly a language that connects me to so many human beings. At times, it's the only thing that connects me to them. As a man in society, I have expectations that I largely ignore and fight back against as someone who grew up with a single mom and who is a self proclaimed feminist. I don't really know or care to know a thing about cars. I don't know how to hunt, in fact I've never even fired a gun before. I want to know how to fish, but I've never successfully caught one before. I don't really know how to fix things...or even enough to know what the names of certain tools are in a toolbox. And my views of women are very progressive. I believe that a relationship should be consensual and balanced at every level. That checks should be split, names hyphenated or collectively changed in a different way to reflect and respect both families upon marriage. That in a truly healthy relationship two people complement each other, not complete. All of these views go against (sadly) what the mainstream male believes or at least is attempted to be programmed to believe by society.
And then...there is sports. If I meet a stranger and they are wearing some sort of team paraphernalia, I may have absolutely nothing in common with them. Maybe they're the most conservative tea party Republican on the planet. Maybe they think education should be privatized and that poverty is the right of law. If I attempted to talk with them about any other issue, we both might have an interaction that would be incredibly damaging and negative. But despite all of this, I can look at the team that he or she is sporting (pun intended), and without hesitation begin talking with him or her about that team. I can start by showing empathy in saying something like "wow, that last game of the season...so sorry, that was rough." Or sharing in excitement about the team, like "wow, especially since they just got player x, they are going to be a force to be reckoned with this season!" And you know what, when I say these things to this stranger, a minor miracle happens. Without fail, if they truly are a fan of the team that they are representing (and sometimes they're not. And their reaction is just that it happens to be a cap or shirt that they're wearing. And if that happens, then if nothing else two strangers have shared a moment, and that is beautiful by itself), then their eyes light up. A smile forms on their mouth. And immediately, we spring into conversation and lively debate. If it wasn't for sports, I don't know if I would ever connect with most males at all. But as someone who is continually well versed in the deepest sports knowledge possible, I have a secret weapon that allows me to converse with just about anyone. Women are easy to talk to. I can often be bold and ask deep questions and be blunt while being sensitive and listening to them. Guys often aren't like that. They don't want to talk about "deep" issues. They don't want to think about them either. But boy oh boy will they talk to me for hours about the Blazers. About the smallest aspect of them, like who I think they will look to obtain to join their team for next year. It is absolutely fascinating.
All of this, and I haven't even started talking about the experience of playing or watching a game together. I often think that the only thing that will ever truly unite the world in peace and love is if aliens from another planet attempt to attack us and take us over. For I'm convinced that until you have a common enemy, it is almost impossible for people to truly come together as a mass group and bond in the deepest of ways. Sports show this constantly. When a Blazer game is on, I can walk into a bar where I know no one. But when the game is on, all of a sudden there is a little pro-Blazers family in that bar. When the Blazers make a positive play, people collectively cheer and hi-five and smile at each other. When Damian Lillard, the famous Blazers point guard hit arguably the biggest shot in the history of the franchise just a month or so ago to help the Blazers win their first playoff series in over a decade, you can see an entire group of thousands of people in such collective jubilation that it is truly beautiful. When that shot goes in, strangers don't just smile and hi-five and cheer together. They jump together. They hug together. They have an out of body experience that Jesus Christ himself would tip his cap to in appreciation of. Democrats and Republicans. Christians and Atheists. Young and old. Men and Women. Heterosexual and Homosexual. These fade for a moment in time. What remains is just human and human. There is no divide between them. They are one, and in a way that only sports can truly unite. This continues throughout the evening as people celebrate the win. For a night they are on top of the world without a care in the world. The World Cup might be the greatest example of this macro-bonding. The Olympics is surely another good example. From all over the country, people watch team USA and root together. Countries all over the world do the same for their teams. Not just thousands, but millions of people, passionately cheering for a team and sharing a common goal (pun intended) and experience. If the team loses, then they bond together in that as well. They sulk together. They drink together. And even as men, gasp, they cry together.
That is the power of sports. For some people in my life or even in my family, we really don't have that much in common. But when we can talk sports, all of that goes away. In addition, when you play sports with people, it often forms an even closer bond. It's a model that teaches people how to work together, how to selflessly sacrifice for a common good. It instills discipline and hard work, but without the murder and PTSD and so much else that the Military gives individuals when it attempts to teach the same concepts. Sports also helps so many people process emotion in a cathartic way that they are desperately seeking. The amount of people that shut everything out and go for a daily run is astounding. The same goes for going to the gym or a yoga class or joining a football team. In this way choir is relate-able, as singing is cathartic for the body and soul and bonds strangers together. And that is why I truly love to sing. But sports...it just takes all of these things to the next level. And the whole time (for the most part), it's good for your body! I think that humans (at least I sure am) are like puppy dogs. You feed them, they run around a little bit, and then they nap. And we try to teach middle school kids after recess at 1:30 p.m. on a sunny afternoon...geez...good luck! Personally, I hate to run. Hattttteeeee it. But, if I'm playing basketball or tennis or football, my mind is tricked into not focusing on running. Like a dog, I am just fully committed to ruthlessly chasing a ball. The moment that ball goes away, I pant and collapse and wonder why I'm doing this, but once the ball comes back....BALL BALL BALL I'm chasing it away freely and those thoughts immediately leave my mind.
Yes, sports not only are exercise, but they bring people together in ways that nothing else can. The bonds between strangers are immense while the common goal acts as a shell that gives a temporary break from the trauma and harsh reality of so many other aspects of life. And furthermore, unlike so many other aspects of life, sports are quantifiable. Sports statistics exercise the brain in fun ways that I personally enjoy as one of my greatest hobbies. There are right decisions and wrong decisions and it's truly the culmination of science and art. Teams are constantly evolving. And for fans hope is always just a few months away. Seasons begin and end. And all of it offers the chance to get away. The chance to put aside the stresses of survival, the guilt and frustrations of life, and worries of the past, present, and future, and enter into this beautiful and powerfully connecting world. of sports
Yes, I can type for many more hours on this topic, but I will let this explanation suffice for now. Have a wonderful day and take care. I will head now to watch a world cup soccer game (Costa Rica) as I text [your son] about it as well. He watches on with a work colleague who is a native Costa Rican, who, despite being physically removed from his home country and ancestors, cheers collectively with them despite being separated by thousands of miles. For a couple of hours, they will connect as one. Ah, the beauty of sports."
Dillon